Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Hopeful Return
It's been too damn long since I've written. I guess thats what happens when work and family issues arise. My wife and I are expecting our first child. I have also started my own business. Things have been very crazy to say the least. Despite my abscence, I have read many posts of my favorite bloggers. You're all doing an excellent job. I am hoping to set some quality time aside to unleash some built up emotions. The Government and LDS Inc have really stirred the pot lately. I am in need to offer my two cents. Anyways I'll be back later.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Religious Buffet
The other day I was reading the blog Mormon411. It's a great blog and I suggest you check it out. Anyways a girl named Katie got involved and was fairly critical about his blogs content. I would have preferred to give you a direct quote, but she has deleted her criticism. Essentially she feels that we should leave the church alone and move on. Why go out of our way to "slam" the church or it's members. While she isn't an active member, she loves the church and the people.
Obviously I wanted to know why she isn't active if she is so fond of the church. Her response is provided below...
I do not believe you need the church to return to God. I believe in God and I believe in the values the church teaches its members, I am just trying to figure out which specifics I believe in. For example, I believe in Gay rights and I think that if you are a loving parent you should be able to adopt as long as you don't push your sexual orientation onto your children. I know it is against the mormon church but I haven't found a different church that feels as right to me. I know you don't need church to believe in God but I had amazing experiences growing up in a church and I would like to raise my family in a church also. I am just figuring out which organization would be best. To answer you Doesitmatter, I do believe in the church. I am just not a person who believes all or nothing. I think that the church is there to inform and it all depends on how you personally put their values to use.
Her response got me thinking. Does she make sense? Let me just say one thing first. Honestly I think she is probably a nice girl with a good heart. While she clearly misses the point, I hope she has a good life. This girl, and a great deal of other members, treat Religion/Church like a buffet. They like to pick and choose. Obviously most people want the Prime Rib (Faith, Love, Charity, etc), but what about the sides? Obviously Katie doesn't feel like Veggies(Churches view on Homosexuality), and she really doesn't want Pudding(Churches belief they are the ONLY true church). They indeed believe LDS membership is required. But she does want a Scone and Mashed Potatoes(Eternal Family and The Atonement)
Why do so many people fall into this trap? For fucks sake, it's all or nothing people. I can't be a devoted member but choose to marry multiple women. I can't love all aspects of the church except for the law of chastity.... Religions have doctrines. They are not negotiable. Their creeds and beliefs are concrete. If you don't like them, don't devote your life to it. Shit or get off the fucking pot. Here is a scripture for you mother fuckers....
Rev 3:16
"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth."
Obviously I wanted to know why she isn't active if she is so fond of the church. Her response is provided below...
I do not believe you need the church to return to God. I believe in God and I believe in the values the church teaches its members, I am just trying to figure out which specifics I believe in. For example, I believe in Gay rights and I think that if you are a loving parent you should be able to adopt as long as you don't push your sexual orientation onto your children. I know it is against the mormon church but I haven't found a different church that feels as right to me. I know you don't need church to believe in God but I had amazing experiences growing up in a church and I would like to raise my family in a church also. I am just figuring out which organization would be best. To answer you Doesitmatter, I do believe in the church. I am just not a person who believes all or nothing. I think that the church is there to inform and it all depends on how you personally put their values to use.
Her response got me thinking. Does she make sense? Let me just say one thing first. Honestly I think she is probably a nice girl with a good heart. While she clearly misses the point, I hope she has a good life. This girl, and a great deal of other members, treat Religion/Church like a buffet. They like to pick and choose. Obviously most people want the Prime Rib (Faith, Love, Charity, etc), but what about the sides? Obviously Katie doesn't feel like Veggies(Churches view on Homosexuality), and she really doesn't want Pudding(Churches belief they are the ONLY true church). They indeed believe LDS membership is required. But she does want a Scone and Mashed Potatoes(Eternal Family and The Atonement)
Why do so many people fall into this trap? For fucks sake, it's all or nothing people. I can't be a devoted member but choose to marry multiple women. I can't love all aspects of the church except for the law of chastity.... Religions have doctrines. They are not negotiable. Their creeds and beliefs are concrete. If you don't like them, don't devote your life to it. Shit or get off the fucking pot. Here is a scripture for you mother fuckers....
Rev 3:16
"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth."
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Truth and Reality are lost
I believe there is great confusion between Truth/Reality, and something we as people define as "good". As a result very few people take time to challenge or question their religious beliefs. If you have a nice home, live in a safe neighborhood, and the people you attend religious services with are kind, you will probably never think twice about the truthfullness of the message taught on Sunday. This is applicable to all faiths. As time passes, we have become a more tolerant society. Being critical of another faith is unpopular. (Unless your an American and were talking about the Muslims)
It shouldn't take a PHD to understand that all religions can't be right. We're talking about right and wrong. I'm not suggesting they all can't be "good".
It shouldn't take a PHD to understand that all religions can't be right. We're talking about right and wrong. I'm not suggesting they all can't be "good".
Examples
- Catholic and 7th Day Adventist: Last I checked, neither of them preach evil. They encourage faith, love, and respect. But their core beliefs are different. One celebrates the sabbath on Saturday and the other on Sunday. They differ on baptism, communion, and many other issues. Obviously both can't be right.
- Mormons and Muslims: No details needed. They are polar opposites.
With so many different religious views, is there an actual truth? My opinion is no. Religion provides people with answers. Usually people will stay committed to the religion they were raised in. When life isn't going well, people may look to another faith. For some reason they think God has influence on daily affairs. Somehow if they convert to something else, their life will pull a 180... This mentality is beyond stupid. I'm sure there were plenty of people in their old faith doing just fine.
I was once blinded by "good" lessons. I still have family preaching and hoping I'll come back "to the fold". They will never engage in a real discussion about truth and reality. They are lost in "good" feelings. I mean thats one of the "fruits of the spirit" right? I've never said the lessons taught to people aren't good. Hopefully they enable them to be better people. But that doesn't make any of them true. Truth and Reality stand alone. The earth is round no matter what. The Catholics understand the life and teachings of Christ completely, or they do not. The Mormons are the only true church, or they are not. God exists, or he/she doesn't. You can learn so much more by trying to find answers, rather than relying on the "warm fuzzies"
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Time to Vent
The past few days have been very enjoyable, yet I feel a little flustered at the same time. I started this blog not knowing what to expect. I have known for several years I no longer had any religious convictions. Most of the time I kept this to myself. Family and my average friends are all LDS and they would be upset if I shared my real feelings. My wife isn't comfortable talking about it in great detail because she still feels a great deal of pressure from her family to stay somewhat connected to the church. All of a sudden I found several blogs written by people who have left the church and I love reading what they have to say.
Reading other blogs and checking what other people feel has inspired me to proudly express my abandonment of the church. While reading various posts I noticed active LDS members giving a great deal of feedback. I find nothing wrong with them wanting to get involved and offering their opinion. What has upset me is when I read the comment "Ya notice how they all leave, but yet they can't leave it alone". What an errogant comment made by some complete asshole. Little does he know that comments such as those validate most peoples decisions to leave. Here is a supposed follower of Christ. A member of a church that believes it's members are destined to become Gods. I wonder if he could picture Christ saying something similar, "Ya notice how they left my church, yet they can't leave it alone."
My decision to write and get involved with other people who have left the church is based on profound feelings of deceit. All my life I was taught I was a member of the only true church. Years of being told what is right and wrong. I devoted years of my life to preach a gospel that I actually knew nothing about. I defended this gospel and told countless people their church may offer them happiness in this world, but if they wanted eternal happiness, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was the only true church. When doubts arose, or I learned things outside the small scope of the weekly Sunday meetings, I was told it was either Anti-Mormon material or I need not focus on such things. I accepted the guidance but always wondered why I couldn't get answers. So for any active LDS reader, excuse me if I feel the need to discuss some of the issues never discussed while I was a member. Maybe if you ever get the nerve to actually do some research, you'll understand how it feels to be lied to and used for many years.
I find the church has many flaws. All night could be spent reading historical documentation that seems contradict church history. If you're a former member, do you recall moments when you testimony was challenged and either your bishop, father, or any other church official telling you to simply focus on your testimony of the Book of Mormon? That was very common for me. When I was questioning my faith they would always tell me "Don't focus on everything, all you need to know is if the Book of Mormon is true". Their point was if I knew the Book of Mormon to be true, then everything else must be true too. It seemed logical and simple enough. Very similar to the Seinfeld episode of "Serenity now". These people I trusted and sought guidance from never answered my questions. Never addressed my concerns. They dodged confronting the problem and manipulating human emotion turned all attention toward a book that has been part of my life from my earliest memories. How fucking cowardly and cruel.
So if I was expected to embrace and accept the gospel despite my concerns because "I knew the Boof of Mormon was true", then why can't the roles be reversed? Meaning, if I can find just one flaw, or one aspect that I know is wrong, then the entire gospel taught by the LDS faith is also wrong. Seems logical and fair to me. Critics may say "just because there is one error, doesn't mean the whole church is flawed". Just like most testimonies sound the same, I'm sure many people were asked to overlook unanswered questions just because they thought the Book of Mormon was true. So it is logical and it is indeed fair.
One of my first problems in the church was Brigham Young. Growing up in Provo Utah I knew very little about the man. He was the second prophet, the school was named after him. I knew he engaged in polygamy, but I was taught the Lord approved. Between sports in high school and trying to hang out with my buddies, I paid little attention to the history of Brigham Young. The internet hit when I was about 16 but very few people utilized it. These years I had very little to question. The only thing that pissed me off was I had to confess my sins whenever I rubbed one out or my girlfriend and I went a little too far.
My mission was like a brick in the face. The ages from 19-21 I was exposed to a great deal and my doubts started to emerge. I have made small list of a few things I became aware of.
Daily serving my mission and working hard, I was tormented by this new information. My mission president never gave me honest answers. When I returned home, my family and bishop offered nothing. Again I was asked to rely on my testimony of the Book of Mormon. I was told I couldn't know all the answers. Essentially I was being told to follow blindly, or at least with a very narrow view.
There are many reasons I don't believe in the church. But as I discussed earlier, I only need to offer one. Brigham Young is like an ace up the sleeve. Study this mans history. Read his sermons and ask yourself "Is this really a man of God"? You can try and justify his cold and brutish mentality by suggesting the great persecution the church was enduring, but I refuse to accept that. Rememer "pray for them that persecute you". Christ-like attributes suggest maintaing a higher standard. Something Brigham Young knew nothing about. Brigham Young is a savage. I find it unbelievable people can actually respect and honor him. One would have to be completely ignorant or unwilling to accept reality. I still remember the first quote I read of his that sent me reeling. "Show me a thief and I will cut his throat". Of course I was told it was taken out of context and it's basic Anti-Mormon material. Sorry but I check the Journal of Discourses and he indeed said it. Brigham Young has offered an abundance of fucked up remarks. Prophets, and more simply, good righteous men DO NOT say the shit he did. He is the only reason I would ever need to leave the LDS faith. (Even though there are many many more)
My testimony of the Book of Mormon was nothing more than an attachment to my youth and family. The people I trusted never openly discussed my concerns. It's easier to go along with the norm. It's hard and it can be frightening to abandon everything you were raised to believe. I appreciate reading articles from people who have also left the church. It is refreshing to hear their stories. The church is not true. I don't know if God exist, but I am willing to move forward and rely on being true to myself. Only good can come from this way of life.
Reading other blogs and checking what other people feel has inspired me to proudly express my abandonment of the church. While reading various posts I noticed active LDS members giving a great deal of feedback. I find nothing wrong with them wanting to get involved and offering their opinion. What has upset me is when I read the comment "Ya notice how they all leave, but yet they can't leave it alone". What an errogant comment made by some complete asshole. Little does he know that comments such as those validate most peoples decisions to leave. Here is a supposed follower of Christ. A member of a church that believes it's members are destined to become Gods. I wonder if he could picture Christ saying something similar, "Ya notice how they left my church, yet they can't leave it alone."
My decision to write and get involved with other people who have left the church is based on profound feelings of deceit. All my life I was taught I was a member of the only true church. Years of being told what is right and wrong. I devoted years of my life to preach a gospel that I actually knew nothing about. I defended this gospel and told countless people their church may offer them happiness in this world, but if they wanted eternal happiness, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was the only true church. When doubts arose, or I learned things outside the small scope of the weekly Sunday meetings, I was told it was either Anti-Mormon material or I need not focus on such things. I accepted the guidance but always wondered why I couldn't get answers. So for any active LDS reader, excuse me if I feel the need to discuss some of the issues never discussed while I was a member. Maybe if you ever get the nerve to actually do some research, you'll understand how it feels to be lied to and used for many years.
I find the church has many flaws. All night could be spent reading historical documentation that seems contradict church history. If you're a former member, do you recall moments when you testimony was challenged and either your bishop, father, or any other church official telling you to simply focus on your testimony of the Book of Mormon? That was very common for me. When I was questioning my faith they would always tell me "Don't focus on everything, all you need to know is if the Book of Mormon is true". Their point was if I knew the Book of Mormon to be true, then everything else must be true too. It seemed logical and simple enough. Very similar to the Seinfeld episode of "Serenity now". These people I trusted and sought guidance from never answered my questions. Never addressed my concerns. They dodged confronting the problem and manipulating human emotion turned all attention toward a book that has been part of my life from my earliest memories. How fucking cowardly and cruel.
So if I was expected to embrace and accept the gospel despite my concerns because "I knew the Boof of Mormon was true", then why can't the roles be reversed? Meaning, if I can find just one flaw, or one aspect that I know is wrong, then the entire gospel taught by the LDS faith is also wrong. Seems logical and fair to me. Critics may say "just because there is one error, doesn't mean the whole church is flawed". Just like most testimonies sound the same, I'm sure many people were asked to overlook unanswered questions just because they thought the Book of Mormon was true. So it is logical and it is indeed fair.
One of my first problems in the church was Brigham Young. Growing up in Provo Utah I knew very little about the man. He was the second prophet, the school was named after him. I knew he engaged in polygamy, but I was taught the Lord approved. Between sports in high school and trying to hang out with my buddies, I paid little attention to the history of Brigham Young. The internet hit when I was about 16 but very few people utilized it. These years I had very little to question. The only thing that pissed me off was I had to confess my sins whenever I rubbed one out or my girlfriend and I went a little too far.
My mission was like a brick in the face. The ages from 19-21 I was exposed to a great deal and my doubts started to emerge. I have made small list of a few things I became aware of.
- What actually went on inside the temple.
- Masons and the parellels to Mormonism
- Blood Atonement
- Multiple aspects of Mormonism and the Negro
- Mountain Meadow Massacre
- Brigham Young and his thousands of uplifting quotes
Daily serving my mission and working hard, I was tormented by this new information. My mission president never gave me honest answers. When I returned home, my family and bishop offered nothing. Again I was asked to rely on my testimony of the Book of Mormon. I was told I couldn't know all the answers. Essentially I was being told to follow blindly, or at least with a very narrow view.
There are many reasons I don't believe in the church. But as I discussed earlier, I only need to offer one. Brigham Young is like an ace up the sleeve. Study this mans history. Read his sermons and ask yourself "Is this really a man of God"? You can try and justify his cold and brutish mentality by suggesting the great persecution the church was enduring, but I refuse to accept that. Rememer "pray for them that persecute you". Christ-like attributes suggest maintaing a higher standard. Something Brigham Young knew nothing about. Brigham Young is a savage. I find it unbelievable people can actually respect and honor him. One would have to be completely ignorant or unwilling to accept reality. I still remember the first quote I read of his that sent me reeling. "Show me a thief and I will cut his throat". Of course I was told it was taken out of context and it's basic Anti-Mormon material. Sorry but I check the Journal of Discourses and he indeed said it. Brigham Young has offered an abundance of fucked up remarks. Prophets, and more simply, good righteous men DO NOT say the shit he did. He is the only reason I would ever need to leave the LDS faith. (Even though there are many many more)
My testimony of the Book of Mormon was nothing more than an attachment to my youth and family. The people I trusted never openly discussed my concerns. It's easier to go along with the norm. It's hard and it can be frightening to abandon everything you were raised to believe. I appreciate reading articles from people who have also left the church. It is refreshing to hear their stories. The church is not true. I don't know if God exist, but I am willing to move forward and rely on being true to myself. Only good can come from this way of life.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
After the Fact
For anyone living in a hole, there was a shooting in Arizona several days ago. Some troubled young man decided he would lash out and make a statement. Everyday since, there are new reports about his past, his mental issues, etc. Now comes the "could this have been avoided"???
Whether it's the shootings at Virgina Tech, Fort Hood, or Arizona. It always seems like the media tries to create chaos by suggesting these acts could have been avoided. Give me a fucking break. It's not like he sent a telegraph informing police he was planning a rampage.
This kid, along with many others that do random shit like this, usually will go undetected. It's easy to look back and say "Ya know, he was kind of fucking weird". Just because someone is weird, depressed, or mad at the government, doesn't mean they are going to head over to the local mall and unload some shotguns.
I generally don't like the government, I certainly don't care for all my nosey Mormon neighbors, does that mean I am going to go kill people??
Bad shit happens and this was another classic example. Why do we always have to make sense of everything? It's like we are incapable of accepting the fact we live in a chaotic world. Random things happen daily. They can't all be explained. God isn't the source of the unknown, and without some special power of forsight, we can't predict all the terrible things that will occur.
Whether it's the shootings at Virgina Tech, Fort Hood, or Arizona. It always seems like the media tries to create chaos by suggesting these acts could have been avoided. Give me a fucking break. It's not like he sent a telegraph informing police he was planning a rampage.
This kid, along with many others that do random shit like this, usually will go undetected. It's easy to look back and say "Ya know, he was kind of fucking weird". Just because someone is weird, depressed, or mad at the government, doesn't mean they are going to head over to the local mall and unload some shotguns.
I generally don't like the government, I certainly don't care for all my nosey Mormon neighbors, does that mean I am going to go kill people??
Bad shit happens and this was another classic example. Why do we always have to make sense of everything? It's like we are incapable of accepting the fact we live in a chaotic world. Random things happen daily. They can't all be explained. God isn't the source of the unknown, and without some special power of forsight, we can't predict all the terrible things that will occur.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Views on LDS Church
Many blogs and articles are written by former members of the LDS church. I read them hoping to gain some insight and find some common ground. Unfortunately these writings often head down a very combative path or they set the platform to share their new found love in Jesus. Either way I am left digging for useful material.
Those writings that are filled with hate and anger towards the church usually end up getting active Mormons involved. They want to defend their faith and challenge the writings. Before too long, it's an argument and nothing meaningful comes about.
The writers who choose to confess their "re-birth" are even worse. All they do is recite scripture from the bible. Their positions are predictable and any return missionary is aware of the passages. "Grace" this and "Grace" that. That shit is old and I'm not interested in your "new" lord.
I have given up my belief in religion and God altogether. I was raised LDS and served a full mission and eventually got married in the temple. I began questioning my beliefs on my mission. I couldn't accept the teaching that we had the complete truth. Out of the thousands of people I talked to and tried to engage in religious conversation, I somehow was the only one who knew the truth. Everyone else was blind and being lead down the wrong path. While the modern day position is much more fluffy and tolerant, the original views set out by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, John Taylor, etc were very clear that all denominations and religions are wrong and essentially in a state of apostasy.
I felt very uncomfortable with that position. I met a lot of wonderful people and they absolutely had zero interest in my message or the "true gospel of Jesus Christ". By rejecting our message, weren't they passing on their chance for salvation? These wonderful people are going to miss out on glory. That was a hard pill to swallow. To help me get past this, church leaders and family would tell me these people will still have their chance in the "spirit world". In order for them to be denied their glory they need to have a "complete chance" and then reject it. Sorry but that's not exactly the way I remember the before mentioned prophets teaching it. I believe it's become popular among current members to have a softened view. Whether it's because several of their family members are now inactive, or they are unable to accept the original teachings of the church. Either way, the fact remains the prophets who engaged this "final dispensation" taught things differently. They were clear that missionaries were to head out and "gather the harvest." The lord says "those who reject you, reject me" and "no place in heaven awaits them".
This disconnect has grown and I'm now fully estranged from the LDS church. Countless reasons can be given. I'm not interested in writing them in full detail. Any potential reader of this entry will either take time to do research or choose to ignore my insight. I will simply point out a few major problems I have:
I have read enough and found enough disturbing material that I know I don't want anything to do with the LDS church. Its full of deceit and ugliness. Just because they teach good things on Sunday, doesn't mean they will reward me with "salvation". I can say I am happier now than ever. I have no fear of God or death. I can be a good person and offer the world something without religion or a belief in God.
Those writings that are filled with hate and anger towards the church usually end up getting active Mormons involved. They want to defend their faith and challenge the writings. Before too long, it's an argument and nothing meaningful comes about.
The writers who choose to confess their "re-birth" are even worse. All they do is recite scripture from the bible. Their positions are predictable and any return missionary is aware of the passages. "Grace" this and "Grace" that. That shit is old and I'm not interested in your "new" lord.
I have given up my belief in religion and God altogether. I was raised LDS and served a full mission and eventually got married in the temple. I began questioning my beliefs on my mission. I couldn't accept the teaching that we had the complete truth. Out of the thousands of people I talked to and tried to engage in religious conversation, I somehow was the only one who knew the truth. Everyone else was blind and being lead down the wrong path. While the modern day position is much more fluffy and tolerant, the original views set out by Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, John Taylor, etc were very clear that all denominations and religions are wrong and essentially in a state of apostasy.
I felt very uncomfortable with that position. I met a lot of wonderful people and they absolutely had zero interest in my message or the "true gospel of Jesus Christ". By rejecting our message, weren't they passing on their chance for salvation? These wonderful people are going to miss out on glory. That was a hard pill to swallow. To help me get past this, church leaders and family would tell me these people will still have their chance in the "spirit world". In order for them to be denied their glory they need to have a "complete chance" and then reject it. Sorry but that's not exactly the way I remember the before mentioned prophets teaching it. I believe it's become popular among current members to have a softened view. Whether it's because several of their family members are now inactive, or they are unable to accept the original teachings of the church. Either way, the fact remains the prophets who engaged this "final dispensation" taught things differently. They were clear that missionaries were to head out and "gather the harvest." The lord says "those who reject you, reject me" and "no place in heaven awaits them".
This disconnect has grown and I'm now fully estranged from the LDS church. Countless reasons can be given. I'm not interested in writing them in full detail. Any potential reader of this entry will either take time to do research or choose to ignore my insight. I will simply point out a few major problems I have:
- Joseph Smith has way too many problems with his story. Was he a gold digger and deceiver? Did he join the Methodist Church after he claims the lord told him all churches were an "abomination" in his sight. Funny how we can read that, yet in this modern era we are more open to these other churches. When I read the lord saying they are an "Abomination", I don't read that as being supportive....
- Book of Mormon resembles other books of its era. Also the language it was written in, doesn't exist.
- Brigham Young. That man was a pig. You don't have to look very far to find quotes that will blow your mind. Any man of God would never say some of the shit he spoke. Talking about killing thieves, and inter-racial marriage is punishable by death. Please, help make sense of that. Don't give me the common "he is imperfect" answer. Prophets and men of God just don't say shit like that. PERIOD.
- Mormon and Masonry. Is there any difference?
- Temple ceremony. I went through after 1990, otherwise I might have written this much earlier. The thought of taking an oath of how I would die if I discussed the contents of the ceremony is just wrong. Why wasn't I told about this change? Why hide it? I find it offensive that I need to read up on the internet to find this out. The leaders of the church don't want us to know about it because the truth is it's fucked up. If I want to discuss this I'm told it's "Anti" material and I should just focus on the basics: Baptism, repentance, etc.
I have read enough and found enough disturbing material that I know I don't want anything to do with the LDS church. Its full of deceit and ugliness. Just because they teach good things on Sunday, doesn't mean they will reward me with "salvation". I can say I am happier now than ever. I have no fear of God or death. I can be a good person and offer the world something without religion or a belief in God.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Ryan adams , if i am a stranger (Acoustic)
Great song with a lot of meaning. I'll expound later......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)